Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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