tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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