Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
