So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
