I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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