I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
