Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
