The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
