I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
