im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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