Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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