If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
