Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
