Plan B is the new Plan A
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
