just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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