I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize