Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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