please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize