I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Someone shit on the floor
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
