the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
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so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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