The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i barfeds in our rink
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
