Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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