dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
