I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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