so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
