so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
