so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize