Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
