your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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