haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
