I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
