he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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