Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
