You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
