He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
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