go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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