all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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