Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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