I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize