I hate your face
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
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and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
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I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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