watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
