Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Randomize
