If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
