i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
