I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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