I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I want a musical about memes.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
