Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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