I'm really into asian looking animals
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You were trust falling into bushes
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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