This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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