Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
