wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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