I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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