is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I don't deserve a penis
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize