Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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