Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?