It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house