Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
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All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
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at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter