You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
