Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize