all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
