he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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