So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
