We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
